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mommydiary

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Bibi was born in our laundry room. Since the day she was born she brought nothing but joy to our family. She was the sweetest dog, the most gentle and lovable. She was my baby and I thought I had many years ahead with her as she was only 7 years old. ⁣
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Yesterday I found her dead in her crate. I gave her food and water in the morning and should’ve checked to see that she was eating. She wasn’t feeling well so we took her to a vet a few weeks ago. He said everything looked ok, that she just needed tender loving care. ⁣
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I was so tired and busy with my 4 kids and work, I wasn’t paying attention to her like I should’ve. She seemed to be getting better. I can’t believe she just died like this and feel like it’s all my fault.⁣
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While I know life and death are in God’s hands alone, I can’t help but to think I could’ve made a difference. I was her mama and I let her down. 💔⁣
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Rest In Peace Bibi. I love you so much. I hope you didn’t feel sad that I was so busy with the other kids. Please wait for me in heaven, my baby...I miss you terribly and don’t know how I can live without you.

#RIP #Bibi #furbaby

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AD: Rumi loves her @uppababy MESA carseat and CRUZ V2 combo and I love how easy they are to use. The MESA carseat is safe with a five-point harness, has plush lining and the headrest supports her head in place. ⁣
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The best part is that it just clicks into place, no adapters required! She's growing out of her infant carseat soon and I'm in denial at how fast she's growing. You can find more details on the blog post! Link in bio. https://lnk2.io/wZFgDcC ⁣
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#UPPAbabyCRUZ #UPPAbaby #UPPAbabyMESA

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#Currentlyreading Maya Angelou - The Heart of a Woman.⁣
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Beyond her door, all authority is in the hands of people who do not look or think or act like her and her children. Teachers, doctors, sales clerks, librarians, policemen, welfare workers are white and exert control over her family’s moods, conditions and personality; yet within the home, she must display a right to rule which at any moment, by a knock at the door, or a ring of the telephone can be exposed as false. ⁣
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In the face of these contradictions, she must provide a blanket of stability, which warms but does not suffocate, and she must tell her children the truth about the power of white power without suggesting that it cannot be challenged. ⁣#mayaangelou

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I know many of us are feeling nervous about travel these days but our recent stay at @carmelvranch felt safe, socially distanced and intimate. We wore masks at all times and only took them off when eating and not around other people.
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The best part of this family picnic at @carmelvranch was that it was right by the vineyard and I didn’t have to prepare anything. The air was filled with scent of lavender and the made-to-order picnic meal was delicious! I even got to enjoy local Carmel Valley wine while the kids are playing & bird watching next to us. ⁣
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You can swipe to watch the video of the sprawling hills, organic garden & s’mores at sunset. #readysetplay #hosted #mommydiarytravels

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I began @mommydiary by taking photos of my kids. These days I know to stop and notice all the beauty & light in this world, in between photos of my kids.

There was a time when I couldn’t figure out where I fit in the narrative of motherhood. I loved my kids, yet I yearned for my own space physically and mentally.

Am I allowed to feel this? Who gives permission? Are there mothers like me?

I desperately wanted to re-discover myself, because the mother that I became was too immersed, too guilty and too focused not on herself but her kids.

Looking back, the beginning years of motherhood was necessary. I needed to first learn how to be a mom, then untangle that fully-immersed and always-guilty mother from the new woman who has risen from the ashes.

Have you discovered that new woman yet?

#mommydiaryblog #mommydiarytravels #mommydiarypodcast

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