I always look forward to receiving emails and messages from my readers. Despite the steady traffic, I don’t receive many comments on my blog, probably because I’m not so good at “networking” with other bloggers. I actually signed up for my first real blog conference in 2016, and am still feeling timid about the whole thing. I can be social but prefer spending time in my little writing space, and dislike networking for the sake of networking.
To me, the word “networking” is one of those mass produced, overused 21-century term that is misused in so many ways. Yes, it’s a necessity in today’s world but how does this affect genuine connections we once used to value and nurture?
So yes, I’m a horrible networker but an awesome connector. And please know dear readers, I do reply to every footstep left on this blog and read every email I receive. Most importantly, I very much appreciate your comments and it’s such interaction that keeps me writing in this blog.
Blogging and writing can be a lonely hobby, one that yields no immediate fruit. Copywriting is enjoyable but often inhibits my creative process, and personal writing is cathartic yet leaves me vulnerable in front of hundreds, thousands of readers in the intricate world of web.
As you know, Mommy Diary is mostly a personal, storytelling blog that reads like a memoir. I chose this genre not because I think, “hey, look at me, I looove talking about myself!” or because my life is so interesting. No, there are plenty of beautiful celebrities, reality TV stars, and other super talented and popular bloggers whose lives are way more interesting than mine.
Rather, I chose this genre because the writing that sits at the core of my heart, the kind of writing that I loved to read the most as a little girl, were ones that are real, honest and autobiographical. I learned at a young age that in midst of a fake, superficial, and image-driven world, art is the only medium that connects people’s hearts and triggers lasting relations that exist at the soul level.
I chose this genre because nowadays, honest feelings are rarely shared or discussed, and we are bombarded with images and stories that are fabricated and downright deceitful. I guess in my little way, I wanted to join those who still value ingenuity, intuition, creation, humanity and soulful connection over image, popularity and fame.
A few months ago, I received an anonymous email from a reader. It looked something like this.
This is my first time posting a reader’s message and I apologize for doing so, but I assume it’s fine since the reader remains anonymous.
Just like my story-telling blog that floats in the internet world like a lonesome bird who is unable to find her home amid blogging and marketing giants, this short email struck me as a sacred message in midst of marketing and promotional emails in my inbox.
It made me realize that the sincerity and honesty in my writing does resonate with some readers and most notably, that readers are able to see a deeper warmth in me through my writing. Like I always say, I always felt more comfortable with writing than speaking, and what you see when you meet me is far from what kind of thoughts and dreams exist beneath the surface.
Dear anonymous reader,
Thank you for your kind words, gentle nudge and reminder that my writing is growing and reaching places I wanted to reach. Writing in this blog sometimes makes me feel vulnerable like a young girl who stands naked on stage in front of hundreds of strange faces I can’t decipher. It’s sometimes scary and always lonely but this fear and loneliness are so deeply rooted in my writing self that it feels like home…
Also, thank you for seeing the warmth of my heart through a hard exterior I tried so hard to maintain in my adolescent years. This exterior got me into a lot of trouble, and simultaneously protected me from further betrayal and broken heart. I think I should one day share my stories of late 90’s and early 2000’s- the lost days and nights of binge drinking, hardcore clubbing and other self-destructive behaviors I indulged in as a way to escape my insecurity, guilt, anger and pains of the past.
As a 30-something mom and woman looking back, those days were the Dark Ages of my life that was necessary for new discoveries, meaning and growth. And instead of silently tucking it away, I may use them to complete an honest story, one that tells others that beauty and solidarity is often followed by pain and brokenness.
So thank you anonymous reader, for inspiring these thoughts and revelations. Wishing you a wonderful 2016 filled with abundant blessings, prosperity and love. I hope you keep reading.