Reflection

An Ode To My Thirties

I’m two days shy of another birthday. Today I’m no longer the naive, carefree girl in my 20’s. I’ve failed in numerous relationships and made countless mistakes in my lifetime.

I’ve cried over unworthy men, been betrayed by manipulative girlfriends, hurt people I shouldn’t have hurt and stayed loyal to those who didn’t deserve my loyalty. I’ve been heartbroken; I’ve broken people’s hearts.

Yet I’ve never loved myself as much as today. My hair needs a trim and I can really use facials. I no longer have the youthful glow every morning and am starting to see fine lines around my eyes. The height of my youth is passing and I’m no longer idealistic about life, career and men. Not even marriage and motherhood.

Yet, I love myself wholeheartedly.

I’m finally beginning to feel like a real woman, the kind who is courageous enough to love oneself despite her past mistakes and present imperfections.

It’s not about loving oneself in vain without knowing one’s flaws and weaknesses. We are not perfect, nor will we ever be. It’s not about living in denial or minimizing pain. Rather, it’s about facing our past demons and conquering her with weapons of love, forgiveness and healing. Yes- often, the most important person to forgive is ourselves.

It’s about becoming one’s best friend first before turning to others for happiness and truly understanding herself, both good and bad, while being mindful of her surroundings. It’s about having the wisdom and strength to leave bad relationships while appreciating the good ones more and more each day.

It’s about becoming one’s best friend first before turning to others for happiness and truly understanding herself, both good and bad, while being mindful of her surroundings. It’s about having the wisdom and strength to leave bad relationships while appreciating the good ones more and more each day.

It’s about refusing to let others define who we are. It’s about owning our lives, from beginning to end, even if it entails going back to that dark place and relieving our childhood self from undeserved pain. We wipe away her tears, hold her tightly and tell her it’s okay. We learn, grow and transcend.

It’s about making sacrifices for others without regret or resentment, and loving our families despite their flaws and pains. A real woman stands by her family despite its inherent weakness, because she understands that it is only through her strength and love that the structure can withstand trials of life.

It’s about learning to be selfish about her dreams without forgetting to be selfless when it comes to others. Most love is selfish; love should never be selfish. It’s about understanding the right balance between chasing one’s passion and nurturing your loved one’s dreams.

It’s about learning to be selfish about her dreams without forgetting to be selfless when it comes to others. Most love is selfish; love should never be selfish. It’s about understanding the right balance between chasing one’s passion and nurturing your loved one’s dreams.

It’s about setting boundaries, especially with those closest to her and not letting her love inhibit other’s decisions and lifestyle. It’s about respecting other’s space and freedom to make mistakes, learn and grow.

It’s about keeping her love under control and in moderation, and not letting it become controlling, superfluous or fleeting. We often care too much about other people, and not enough about ourselves.

It’s about keeping her love under control and in moderation, and not letting it become controlling, superfluous or fleeting. We often care too much about other people, and not enough about ourselves.

So stop trying to define how a woman is supposed to look or act like, I don’t even know what that means. Don’t label me, categorize me, or judge me depending on what you think I should be. I’m just me, that’s all. I’ve always been me, and will always be me.

No passing of time or trials of life can take that away from me.

We must realize that womanhood is boundless, timeless and eternally beautiful. We are all beautiful in our imperfections, geniuses in our madness.  Anything is fine, as long as we remember to judge a little less and care for ourselves from within.

We must realize that womanhood is boundless, timeless and eternally beautiful. We are all beautiful in our imperfections, geniuses in our madness.  Anything is fine, as long as we remember to judge a little less and care for ourselves from within.

And don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise, as they will never understand the complexity of a real woman.

…….and the clock keeps ticking.

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