Image via ashlindsey
Today was my first daughter’s field trip to Pasadena, a highly anticipated and exciting end-of-the-school-year event. I got the slip, signed it and marked my calendar weeks ahead. Then it got tucked away somewhere deep inside my mommy brain.
This morning I woke up tired from only 4 hours of sleep after staying up talking to a close friend, discussing relationships with men and God. No biggie, I think. I can send the girls off to school and lie back down for a few more hours.
By the moment I realize her field trip is today, it’s too late. The bus is leaving in 15 minutes, I’m out of sandwich meat and my poor baby doesn’t have lunch to eat.
THE ULTIMATE MOMMY FAIL MOMENT.
Her teacher agrees to pay for her lunch and we can pay her back later but still. I want to crawl into a tiny corner and hide, because what I had just done is completely unacceptable as a mother. I had gone to the grocery store the night before to get some beer and totally forgot about lunch for my child. Beer > lunch for my child? Oh gawd.
My mom used to make me amazing kimbap (sushi) lunches with healthy fruits and snacks. I couldn’t even make a turkey and cheese sandwich with cheez-its.
I feel like a total failure. I AM a total failure. How can I forgive myself. I’m still in my pj’s, hair disheveled, not knowing what to do, just shaking my head in guilt and shame.
Then DADDY comes to the rescue, calls the school and arranges to get on the bus. He, at the last minute, volunteers to accompany my daughter’s field trip as a chaperon. Now my daughter can have her lunch because daddy will be there to pay for her AND she can make lasting memories with her superhero.
On days like today, all the past trials of motherhood seem worthwhile. The crazy pregnancy hormones, the sleepless nights, baby throw up, countless doctor’s visits, EVERYTHING. I feel immensely blessed. And despite our past struggles in marriage, I realize why God gave me a man like my husband.
Yes I pick up his dirty white socks (without forgoing the complaining) but he is, in many ways, a better parent than myself. He is a wonderful man and the most amazing father to my girls and he does all this without complaining and nagging the way I do.
He exhibits understated grace in parenting; I’m the crazy momma bear making plans, marking calendars and stressing out about details then forgetting when it really matters. He figures out solutions. I simply panic.
I learned another lesson today– that despite all my smart mouthed rantings of a mom and housewife, God placed men (aka superhero dads) in our lives for a good reason.
Problem solving & graceful parenting: Two lessons I learned from my husband today.