I wake up in the morning feeling groggy from the lethal combination of a creeping cold & Nyquil I took the night before. Throat is on fire, head is doing cartwheels & body is covered in cold sweat as all I can think of is sleep….and more sleep.
Hair is disheveled, flat and sticking to my head like post-it. I look like Medusa on crack. I’m wearing a fuzzy light green bathrobe that I got as a Christmas gift last year, the one I vowed I’ll never wear. I’ve been living in this for the past few days and it’s the most comfortable thing next to wrapping myself with a blanket that probably should’ve been washed weeks ago.
Damn, the laundry…
I could’ve slept at least 24 more hours but choosing to become a mom inevitably meant giving up the luxury of undisturbed sleep so off I go— straight to the coffee maker.
I remember I just ran out of my favorite medium roast and all I have left is cappuccino flavored coffee. What the fuck was I thinking when I bought this? I blame my mommy-brain, the brain that develops long after a painful childbirth, the side that feeds on dirty diapers and milk stains. The kind that erupts with screaming toddlers and mean looks from strangers down the aisle.
Sure enough, it tastes just as artificial and repulsive as it reads.
After few sips of this faux cappuccino with dry toast I walk over to the medicine cabinet to see what my remaining options are. I can take Dayquil to induce present grogginess and perhaps take a nap. But that means I have to somehow put my 5-year old down for a nap just two hours after she awoke. She too has a cold but is full of energy and insists on watching Yo Gabba Gabba on repeat. DJ Lance and Brobee are especially loud and annoying today. And the baby?
Must get it together.
Maybe I should just down this bottle of Nyquil and go back to sleep. Maybe I should share some with my daughter and take a nap together. Ahh— that sounds lovely.
Before I can feel the familiar pang of maternal guilt for my impure thoughts, my eyes spot out the box of Emergen-C peeking its head out from the back. Emergency situation calls for emergency measures.
I grab a cup, pour the packet of Emergen-C and down this pink drink in one big desperate gulp.
It tastes even worse than the cappuccino flavored coffee. What the hell is Ruby Lemon anyway? These advertising execs need to make better choices with the names. Whatever. Stop wasting energy on useless thoughts, I tell myself.
I just need sleep……and more sleep.
But nope, it won’t come.
Must get it together anyway..
My head is spinning, nose is runny and the kids are hungry.
I look at the clock. It’s only 7:40 am.
This is the story of one uneventful morning of a 30-something year old who chose marriage & motherhood in place of solitude, personal gratification & material success. And even though she’s only left with a foul tasting pseudo coffee & latent immune system, she’ll count her blessings and be grateful.
Now someone bring her a cup of real coffee and a nice, long vacation because you know, motherhood is the best thing that happens to the best of us.