I haven’t written a personal post in awhile. I don’t know how it happened but my blog work has become so busy that all I’m writing is one sponsored post after another.
Don’t get me wrong- I feel incredibly blessed to do what I love and work from home. I celebrated my third year Blogiversary this past May and I’m still awed by how far I’ve come as a blogger and how far my blog has come since my very first post about postpartum depression and raising a special needs child.
I still remember locking myself up in my room one weekend and just writing, writing and writing some more. I remember the tears, the deep and raw emotions, the intense fear of vulnerability…I remember them all like it’s just yesterday. I still remember feeling my heart palpating of panic and anxiety as I shared my very first story on my blog, then with my friends and family on Facebook.
I still remember locking myself up in my room one weekend and just writing, writing and writing some more. I remember the tears, the deep and raw emotions, the intense fear of vulnerability…I remember them all like it’s just yesterday. I still remember feeling my heart palpating of panic and anxiety as I shared my very first story on my blog, then with my friends and family on Facebook.
I remember feeling vulnerable and naked— as if my life is now open to criticism, scrutiny and disdain. I spent my lifetime trying to shield myself from outside harm because behind the fasçade lies a vulnerable and deeply empathetic soul who perhaps feels a little too much.
I suffered from depression and loss of identity and soon discovered that only writing can cure my ailments. I needed to write, not because I thought my stories are so interesting or special, but because I’m simply a better and happier person when I’m writing regularly. It’s the way I process my thoughts and emotions, it’s the way I understand my life and my place in this world.
My blogging journey
Luckily most people have been very supportive of my blogging journey. Some ask what I’m up to and how the blog is going, but I don’t think many understand exactly what it entails.
Being a blogger is like being a freelance writer, creative director, photographer, curator and small business owner all in one. A blogger has to wear many hats and it’s not as fun and easy as it seems. It may look effortless, but it takes a lot of hard work that includes hours of planning, research, writing, editing and pitching to brands sometimes to no avail.
I spent many hours writing and doing what I love not for pay, but because it’s what I was called to do. A passion and soulful purpose, so to speak.
I spent many hours writing and doing what I love not for pay, but because it’s what I was called to do. A passion and soulful purpose, so to speak.
Life after sponsored posts
Life after sponsored posts is great because I get to do what I love and work from home. It’s not that my blog can support my family or anything, but my blog has supported my youngest baby and I’m able to make part time income that allows me to contribute to my family while being home with my kids.
I’m living a part of my dream through this blog and it’s a lot more than I imagined. I feel grateful and blessed. But now I’m learning that this line of work comes with sacrifices and losses that I didn’t foresee.
In the past years I gained a lot but lost some. Relationships have changed, close friends are distant. I feel a shift in the universe, in my circle of friends, with those I love. I don’t necessarily see this change as a good or bad thing because I have faith that things are the way its supposed to be.
Time to dig deeper, continue to write from the heart and continue on this path of destiny, self-discovery and unconditional love.
Life after sponsored posts is perplexing. I’m now mixing creative work with monetary gain, which I would not apologize for. Because just like you, my time is valuable and just like you, I should be getting compensated for the time and energy I spend on work. It’s my passion, but it’s still work nonetheless.
Yet today I’m reminded again that I need to stay close to my roots and continue writing from the heart. I want to write more honest reflections with diary-like transparency and soul.
But my question now is- who is reading? Are you there? Are there readers out there who want me to begin writing from the heart again? This little corner of the internet began as a sacred space and I want it to stay that way.
But now my question is- who is reading? Are you there? Are there readers out there who want me to begin writing from the heart again? This little corner of the internet began as a sacred space and I want it to stay that way.
What would you like to read? What would you like me to share? I want to feel inspired to write from the heart again and I need your response. Please inspire me to keep writing because my soul is yearning for more.
I guess what I’m saying is, I’m still here.
xx,
A
I just stumbled upon your blog. It’s refreshing to discover your content, and to see the vulnerability and creativity – there are not a lot of KA mom blogs out there that I’ve found. I vote for more personal, non-sponsored posts sprinkled in with the sponsored ones!
I really appreciate your feedback. I love meeting KA readers because you’re right- there aren’t many KA bloggers out there. I’m going to start writing from the heart again. Thank you!
Hi Angela,
Your posts are always so inspiring. I learn so much from you, and I can tell you put a lot of work into each post. Your writing is amazing, but so are your visual presentaions. I relate mostly to your posts about your son, because he’s close in age with my little one. Posts on struggles of being a mom and postpartum depression are what lead me to your blog at first. Your words have this ‘healing’ effect. I loved your ‘should I start a blog’ post as well, and thought about starting one too. The only thing holding me back is… I can’t write. lol. I’d love to read more about your experience and journey with your older daughters. The struggles and challenges along with the happy moments of course. Keep up the amazing work! And thank you for sharing such personal stories.
I hear you. I think it’s important for bloggers to get feedback and it’s great that you are asking your readers for their response. Thank you for writing and for sharing your heart. Keep writing from the heart and what brought so many to you. Would like to hear more about any current pains, struggles, what inspires you, what is so hard or lovely about being a mom of 3, what you are feeling now as a 3rd time mom; did you/are you going through any blues and ppd again and if not, what else did you do to possibly safeguard yourself? What scares you? How does faith play a role in specific ways? What are your dreams, if you know? What is a typical day like? How do you keep organized specifically? How do you manage both kids and work in specific ways now? Just a few questions 🙂
I just discovered your blog today after searching vow renewals on Pinterest. Your article on marriage was so raw and so true. I felt I was reading my own mental diary at times. This is also the first time I’ve ever commented online (other than my few yelp reviews 😉 and it’s because I support you. Thank you for having this blog and please continue raw and from the heart. You ate a very brave and strong woman to be doing this.