Almost Christmas

Christmas is near and 2016 is almost over. I still can’t believe it as I’m typing this. It seems like just yesterday when I was writing this post in Seattle, just a few weeks after I found out I was expecting my third child.

I have much to be thankful for this year. A new baby, a new mindset, a new goal (or two), and even a new husband through the birth of another baby (more on this later). Many personal projects remain unfinished and I took another detour from my personal destination and gratification. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy. It’s never easy for a woman like me who likes to keep certain things to herself– like her job, her dreams, her space, her final destination.

Three kids later, I’m still mediocre as a SAHM. I mean, I do it all- the cooking, the cleaning, the consoling, the organizing. I do it because I have to- I’m well aware of the fact that these are a part of my job as a mother and wife- but I don’t particularly “enjoy” it. I do sometimes, but most of the time it’s work, like everything else.

Sometimes I just want to lock myself in a room and recoup, recharge and dig a little deeper. Especially when Christmas rolls around and the weather chills and leaves wither and fall. I like digging deeper because it makes me feel alive. I can do the living day to day like everyone else, but these things don’t necessarily make me feel real. 

I want to dig deeper and nurture the jewels I find. Then take them out little by little and turn them into tangible stories. This seems to be my thing, I don’t know…this is what I’m trying to figure out but life doesn’t allow this luxury in the moment.

Yet I have this blog, and this blog helped me in so many ways this year. What does this blog need from me and what do I need from this blog?

I find myself pondering upon this very question just like when I started.

I’ve been rethinking my blog a lot these days. With the pregnancy and the new baby, it has become more of a mom blog where I share stories of motherhood, kids, baby products, all that good stuff. I mean, these are great and I genuinely enjoy writing them but there is more that my soul yearns for.

So I created a new category called “diary.” This is where all the digging begins. You may want to read them, you may not. That’s okay, because I’ll continue to write about all the mommy stuff too. The stuff that gets pinned, shared and liked more. The stuff that are easier to read, the stuff that “adds value” to others.

Meanwhile, here are some photos I took around the home tonight. This is what Christmas looks like in our household. Slow, steady and calm. My kids and husband are busy around me but my soul is silent and steady, as if it’s awaiting for something big and life changing.

And this is a good sign around this time of the year.

Merry Christmas dear reader. I wish you warmth and happiness wherever you are.

xx