Comments on: Thoughts on Having Another Child

By: Celebrating Baby D's 100 Days | Mommy Diary

Celebrating Baby D's 100 Days | Mommy Diary — Mon, 20 Mar 2017 06:22:50 +0000

[…] that I never planned to have a third child. You can read more about this period of contemplation here. I was never one of those moms who thought of herself as capable of handling more than two kids. In […]

By: Angela | Mommy Diary

Angela | Mommy Diary — Sat, 14 May 2016 18:06:55 +0000

In reply to k.

I felt that too for a long time. Having another child is a HUGE decision, especially with a special needs child! Now that I’m pregnant with my third, I have no choice but to face my fears head on…and so far, it’s going great!

Best wishes to you and your family. xo

By: Angela | Mommy Diary

Angela | Mommy Diary — Sat, 14 May 2016 18:05:00 +0000

In reply to April.

With the blog re-design, I was able to rediscover this old comment from last year. How are you doing now April? I hope you and your son are doing well. So since I wrote this post, many things have changed. I’m not pregnant with my third! You’re right, it’s all in God’s hands because this happened without much planning. Now I realize why, I think I needed to let go of the fear, anxiety and just let things be. We’re excited to be expecting a third but also a little nervous about all the changes it will bring to our family. Having a special needs oldest definitely changes the family dynamic in many ways. But I’m happy to be going for it! Hope you and your hubby are able to grow your family! 🙂

By: Anita

Anita — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 06:33:30 +0000

Hey Angela. Since you asked, and since I agree that we do seem to have quite a bit in common (btw, my dream family also included 3 kids – girl, boy, girl, although I ended up having boy, girl, boy – ah well), I’ll share my two cents. I got pregnant with my third at 35 and gave birth shortly after turning 36. Maybe because we had no problems conceiving any of our kids, had two very healthy children already, and were surrounded by friends having children (some, their first) at my age or even older, I didn’t worry too much about the health risks. Our youngest was born healthy too, so I guess God rewarded my confidence. In hindsight, the things I should’ve (but couldn’t have known to) consider before having a third included the following: (1) DH and I would be crazed and outnumbered 24-7, no matter how good we THOUGHT we were at juggling kids and responsibilities; (2) the more children we had, the less attention, money and time we could invest/devote to each individual child (and supporting or fostering his/her talents, hobbies, pursuits and learning), which makes me feel sorry to each of them; (3) there will come a time when I somehow have to drive one child to and from high school, another to and from middle school, and another to and from elementary school, all at the SAME time; (4) DH and I will be in our late 50’s, early 60’s by the time they’re all graduated from college (i.e., when we finally get to live for ourselves a little, travel, etc.); and last but not least, (5) I’d be changing diapers for TEN years STRAIGHT at the end of it all. I’m sure there are other considerations but these came to mind first. As for pregnancy, like you, I didn’t breeze through or enjoy it all that much either. (See http://www.anitacatchmybreath.com/reasons-sterilization-pregnancy-peeves/). But, ALL THAT BEING said, we wouldn’t trade our youngest FOR THE WORLD. We adore him. He has the biggest personality and the most self-confidence (as many last-borns do) and brings so much joy, fun, laughter and entertainment to our family. So, you do you. Whatever you decide, it will be a good decision with good reason behind it. Good luck! xoxo

By: April

April — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 11:44:45 +0000

My son is almost 4 and the only child. He is special needs as well. My husband and I always wanted 3-4 kids, even after we realized our son's limitations. I would love for him to have a sibling, but thoughts such as, 'Can I handle another one while taking care of my son?', 'Will I have another child with special needs?' My son doesn't sleep very well, so to add another baby in the mix with the frequent middle of the night feedings seems impossible. And yet, my momma heart would love to hold a baby again. Mine.
But my plans are (usually) not God's plans. He has not allowed me to conceive in the 3+ years my husband and I have been trying. Secondary Infertility. Even with fertility treatments right now, they aren't working. So, just when I thought I could pop out another one any time I wanted, God says 'no'. Something to think about, because I got pregnant with my son so easily, I never imagined myself in this situation.

By: Angela Kim

Angela Kim — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 21:07:06 +0000

In reply to k.

If you feel you can't handle another one at this time, you probably shouldn't. I think you know best. I know many others who have 3+ kids and can do it with such ease but I know I'm not. Raising two children back to back was so hard and I felt something was wrong with me because I had severe post partum depression and I wasn't "happy." Looking back, God gave me two back to back for a reason but another one? People tell me I should try for a boy next but honestly, I'll be the one raising him/her and I'm fine with two for now. Raising a special needs child is no easy task. Sometimes one is more than enough.

By: Angela Kim

Angela Kim — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 21:04:18 +0000

In reply to Joy Yun.

Thank you Joy! Yes you're so right- I AM rocking motherhood- or at least I would like to think so- because why else would I want another child? As hard as it is, it's so fulfilling, rewarding and babies are so cuddly and precious I really want another one! I wish I can just stop thinking about it and go for it. When time is right and God allows, hopefully one day all will fall into place. :)

By: Angela Kim

Angela Kim — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 21:02:36 +0000

In reply to Samantha.

I'm glad you can relate! I love connecting with other moms who can understand the love and trials of parenting a special needs child. Whatever you decide, best of luck to you!

By: k

Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:59:33 +0000

Thank you so much for your thoughts. I am currently battling the same decision. I have one wonderful 4.5 year old daughter with special needs and all of the sleepless worry and physical demands involved in caring for her have weighed heavily on my 35-going-on-65-year old body. I don't think I have it in me to have another soul to love and worry about so deely in this world. My plate feels full, but my husband's doesn't.. and everywhere I turn someone is telling me to have another. Sigh.

By: Joy Yun

Joy Yun — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 09:37:55 +0000

such honest and touching words. I can't tell you how many times I wonder about our 3rd. Did I dive in without thinking of what I was getting myself into? When will I be able to write again? When will I feel like a woman again? When will I sleep a full nights rest? But then I look at my baby and those thoughts dissipate. My husband jokes that he wants a 4th bc he wants another boy but for me as of now, I am DONE. From your honest and powerful posts I can tell you are rocking motherhood while slinging your dreams over your shoulder. Whether you go for 3 or not I'm sure you'll continue to be awesome =) Keep us updated!

By: Samantha

Samantha — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 03:14:27 +0000

Thank you so much for opening up about your life. As a mommy of a beautiful special needs baby and woman thinking of having another little one, your thought and perspective are appreciated.